Freaking Out

Have I mentioned I love my job? Yes, I know I have. I love, love, LOVE my job. Well, things are a little stressful at my job. All of the sudden they are laying off people, like 5 last Friday. I work for a small company and 5 is a lot. Rumor has it there are more to come. And today, at 4pm one of the projects I work on was cancelled.

I am worried... More than that, I am freaking out. I started crying on the phone to my Mom on the way home from work. I didn't realize how worried I was feeling. I have a million thoughts running through my head. What would we do if I lost my job? How would I find anything else around here that I liked? What about money? What is going to happen if J doesn't get his fellowship (which is another story I haven't mentioned)? I'm so glad we didn't get the house... I guess we would sell the cars... and I can work anywhere. It doesn't matter, it would just be temporary. I keep telling myself it will work out. Everything always does... eventually.

I've never felt like this. I was naïve. I was just so happy to be doing what I love. Something that made it easier to be a wife of a surgery resident. To be away from my family and friends.

This isn't a great time for space exploration, not like it ever is. We are in transition from the shuttle to the next generation of rocket/transport/something?? We are barely coming out of a recession.  And NASA... well, they need a signed budget. And hopefully, that will keep my job.